🗿 How to Trade the BTC ETF

Will BTC go up or down after the ETF is finally approved?

GM. New tax rules. Supercomputer chips. BTC ETF imminent. Epstein memes. 2024 off to a hot start. Let’s keep this train on the tracks as we head into the first weekend of the year.

Without Further Ado. ☕ *knuckle cracks* ☕ Let’s get into it.

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Today’s Specials:

Weekend Alpha - What to Watch 👀 : The BTC ETF is Imminent 📈

No FOMO News 📰 : Ether ETF next? 🧐

No FOMO 🗿 : New crypto tax rules 🧑‍⚖️

AI Intel 🤖 : What’s to Come at CES 2024 💻

This IS Financial Advice 💰 : Don’t Feed Your Pets Cash 💸

Weekend Alpha – What to Watch 👀

This weekend’s alpha can be summarized in two words: Bitcoin ETF. Rumors are spreading SEC approval could come as early as this morning.

Bitcoin Edges Lower As Traders Await SEC Bitcoin ETF Move. Bitcoin ETFs Are Coming Fast. Crypto Investing Will Never Be The Same. Coinbase valuation rests on Bitcoin ETF approval.


Will BTC go up or down after the ETF is finally approved?

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No FOMO News 📰

  • Who’s affected by new crypto tax reporting obligations in the US? (Blockworks)

  • North Korea Was Responsible for Over $600M in Crypto Thefts Last Year: TRM Labs (CoinDesk)

  • Ether ETF likely coming, as SEC ‘implicitly’ nodded ETH as commodity: Analyst (CT)

  • South Korea Regulator Seeks Ban on Crypto Purchases With Credit Cards (CoinDesk)

  • Crypto lender Celsius to unstake $470M in Ethereum ahead of repayments (CT)

  • Biden administration announces $162 million to expand computer chip factories in Colorado and Oregon (NBCNews)

  • Logan Paul to ‘buy back’ CryptoZoo NFTs a year after promising refunds (CT)

  • EU Banking Watchdog to Deepen Probe of Links Between Banks, Crypto Entities: FT (CoinDesk)

The New $10K Crypto Tax (our humble thoughts)

According to media reports, “the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) now requires anyone who receives at least $10,000 in cryptocurrencies to report transaction information to the IRS. This includes the sender's name, address, and Social Security number (SSN), as well as the amount, date, and nature of the transaction.”

That’s cool! Well the IRS also requires you to report transactions from stolen goods, illegal drugs, and illicit activities.

Listen, we are law-abiding, bible-thumping Americans. But to think the IRS can effectively monitor and enforce rules on crypto – a sector they’ve shown to totally misunderstand – it’s just not gonna happen anytime soon. Most crypto transactions are between two pseudonymous entities who won’t even give up their email address, and you think they will send us their SSN?????

To summarize: it’s def a Fuddish move by the IRS, but in practice, it will have very little impact on tax reporting in the near-term. Go back to sweating about ETFs.

AI Intel 🤖

  • Microsoft’s new AI key is the first big change to keyboards in decades (AP)

  • Samsung to announce new phones ‘powered by AI’ on Jan. 17 (CNBC)

  • There’s a 5% chance of AI causing humans to go extinct, say scientists (NewScientist)

  • A list going viral reveals famous artists whose work was used to train AI generators (NBCNews)

  • 'AI Is The Story Of The Show': What To Expect From CES 2024 (Investors)

🔥 Assorted Goods from This Week

This IS Financial Advice 💰

Didn’t think we needed to say this, but do not let your dog eat your money

Cecil, a seven-year-old goldendoodle from Pittsburgh, at $4,000 in cash last week. In case you don’t like numbers and symbols, that’s FOUR THOUSAND DOLLARS.

The bank told the owners they’d take the money if the serial numbers were intact. So, as the story goes, Cecil proceeded to throw up some of the money, but its owners had to recover much of the money through Cecil’s bowel movements…

Ultimately, they recovered $3,550, so they’re down $450. But had to spend days sorting and washing shit-covered money. Once again, we do not advise you to let this happen. 

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