🗿 The US Senate is a Joke

The United States Senate no longer has a dress code.

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GM. Two major launches in AI this week from Microsoft as crypto markets remain stagnant. The Fed signaled its intention to keep rates high. And the US Senate wants to allow sweatpants in Congress.

Needless to say, in conjunction with the recent rise of the Roman Empire on social media, we are pretty bearish on America.

Without Further Ado. ☕ *knuckle cracks* ☕ Let’s get into it.

Today’s Specials:

Weekend Alpha: What to Watch 👀 : Fed Keeps Rate High For Longer 😓

No FOMO News 📰 : Coinbase launches campaign for better regulation 🗣️

AI Intel 🤖 : Microsoft Adds AI to Office 365 🤨

Well Known No-Names 📇 : Pull Down to Refresh 📱

Things We Really Don’t Like 😠 : U.S. Senate Now Allows Sweats 👖

Weekend Alpha – What to Watch 👀

A few market news to take with you over some hot lattes and cider this weekend:

This enterprise blockchain founder thinks Bitcoin ETFs won’t be enough for another darling bull run. The Fed signals keeping rates higher for longer, but we’re getting mixed reviews on what that means for crypto.

Could sky-high interest rates be a good thing? This analyst thinks so. Finally, the Bank of Japan could signify uncertainty for crypto, according to one seasoned trader.

No FOMO News 📰

  • Coinbase kicks off grassroots campaign to advance US legislation (Reuters)

  • JPEX: Hong Kong investigates influencer-backed crypto exchange (BBC)

  • Crypto Exchange Binance, CEO Zhao Ask Court to Dismiss SEC Suit (Bloomberg)

  • Nigeria crypto usage growing further, report says (Reuters)

  • Crypto’s Lehman moment: Investors buy $250M of FTX claims — Report (Cointelegraph)

  • Ex-Deutsche Bank investment banker pleads guilty to crypto fraud (Reuters)

  • UK Crime Bill Lets Cops Freeze Crypto Faster, Channels Tainted Assets to Public Funding (CoinDesk)

AI Intel 🤖

  • OpenAI’s releases Dall-E 3 – an Art Generator Powered by ChatGPT (Wired)

  • YouTube’s upcoming AI-powered creator tools include a generative green screen (Engadget)

  • Announcing Microsoft Copilot, your everyday AI companion (Microsoft)

  • AI-focused tech firms locked in ‘race to the bottom’, warns MIT professor (Guardian)

  • An HSBC-backed startup is using AI to help banks fight financial crime — and eyeing a Nasdaq IPO (CNBC)

  • So long, robotic Alexa. Amazon’s voice assistant gets more human-like with generative AI (CNN)

Well Known No-Names 📇

Today we bring you Loren Brichter, a 30 year old software designer who’s made some functions you use every single day.

First and foremost, he invented “pull to refresh”, where you pull down on the screen to refresh the page. He developed it for “tweetie” which was a third party app to replace twitter for the iphone, cause back in 2008 there was no official twitter app.

While this was his sexiest, and probably most used invention, he has invented a slew of others over his career. Ever swiped a call off the screen of your phone? That was him.

We won't bore you with too much engineer talk, but next time you refresh a page on your phone, pour one out for Loren.

Things We Really Don’t Like 😠

The United States Senate no longer has a dress code.

“You know when they really started turning things around, when everyone started wearing old sweatshirts to meetings”. 🙄 

This just can’t be a good sign. If for no other reason, Senators need to dress the part because they look like shit in anything else.

These are not IG models donning fashionable workout wear, these are old, raggedy Senators who have no idea what a single fashion looks like. The average age of a US Senator is 64.

We don’t need these people deciding the fate of the country wearing some gym shorts they bought at a Wal-Mart on a road trip in 1981.

Shameless Shill + Alpha

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